concentrate la oi!

接受事实吧...又何必再去参考那么多？想着又想，难道真的没办法了吗？过去的就让它过去，有何必要徘徊在那痛苦的当中。放弃？不致以到那种地步。望着他们的脸孔，又让我想起悲伤的回忆。回想也不一定是一件坏事。更何况，当初在回忆里也充满了喜愉。用金钱也无法免回的回忆，仿佛在脑海中失去它的功能。应该选择那条路走呢？心里怀着怕迷失在现实生活当中的恐惧。免了吧... 还是保持着老样子过着生活？但是，却感的不甘愿。

我想，这就是人生。再怎么的努力，都会遇到一些挫折。何苦让自己那么得难受。想到家里的两个老人家，心里就像被刺伤的。世上有谁说的都是正确呢？谁能判断你是错误的？毕竟，人生并不长。努力了上半生，却得到什么回报？可是，树欲静而风不止，子育养儿亲不待。就算有多难接受，也都得给它吞了下去！尽了我的本份吧。能做的只是使他们为了我而感到骄傲。

我没什么要求，也没什么渴望得到些什么。只是，想让他们好好过着平淡的生活。

Taken from www.thestar.com.my comic strip. Reminds me of my family back in Kuching especially after she just cooked.

Just so heartwarming... :D

Hi guys, it's been weeks since I last updated. Just to brief you guys about the things that I'm doing now. Basically class started early of the August. First semester would be something that we need to adjust to. About the courses that I'm doing, not to say that it's easy, it is still considered hard. I'm hesitating on whether to do the 1+4 Program or the 2+3 Program. Both have the same amount of years that we need to study in order to get a Bachelor's degree. Either way works for me. However, as what the guy from Cartisan's has mentioned that studying more years in the States gives u a different insight or even experiences others might not gain. To get into a university/college on the 1+4 Program, nothing much to be done actually. Just that I need to study extremely hard. And I have to take SAT I and II as well, SAT II which consists of at least 2 subjects. Seriously, this may not be my thing but I might just give my best and give it a try. What to say I'm already handling 5 subjects in school currently, in which part of the courses are time-consuming. I'd better plan out my time properly or else I'm gonna get stuck in between things that I wanna do.

Talking about the 1+4 Program, I will have to maintain at least 3.5 GPA to get into the college that I've chosen. Not only that, the application process is surely something you don't want to get involved in. Lots of things that you need to submit and deadlines to meet. I will have to take my SAT either in October or November if I am to fly over to the States in the fall next year. Most of the colleges have a deadline on 15 November for Early Decision and 1 January for Regular Decision. Double shot I would say just to make sure that we really get the college we want to. After listening to what my friends and the counselors have been saying, 1+4 might just be a better choice, though I'm still being indecisive. Hopefully everything would work out fine and go accordingly. Alright, tons of assignments to be completed! 3.5GPA, if the lecturers are kind enough, I might even score higher than that. =D

A few times I’ve been trying to question myself, “Does God really exists?”

Back in the days when God or Jesus Christ had not appeared in my life, I was being asked to follow my mom to this temple thing. I would do the things she did and worshiped the same “god” she worships. She was a devoted Buddhist back then.

This morning as I was listening to the sermon by Rev. Kenneth Chin, from ACTS church, something he said triggered my mind. I went off flying back to the memory I had in my memory vault. Unlocking the vault, I saw myself for the first time, boarding on the plane to come to Kuala Lumpur or should I say Subang Jaya. I saw my heart and what I had on my mind at that exact moment. Thrilled was of course one of them. But no, not only the excitement that I had in store for the past few weeks after I received the offer letter from the government. It was something else… a sense of achievement, success and pride. Being dictated by these thoughts and feelings, I was actually being a proud person. Seriously, do I really take this offer as a blessing from God? I doubted myself.

It is this sense of achievement and success that kept me from realizing what God has set for me. A better plan or He has already done most of the job for me? I did not even hesitate whether to accept the offer or not. It’d be such a “noble” act to reject the scholarship. I saw this as an opportunity and I grabbed hold on it. Never wanting to let it slip away from my hand, I hold on to it tightly. The sermon sparked one of my nervous cells perhaps, in which it actually asked me to ponder on this question: “What am I doing here?” Well, study of course would be the main reason. But is there anything else more than that? What was preached on was the message of faith. Have I been able to keep my faith strong all the way while I am in this place? Yes and no. I wish I had come here with a heart full of God, showing the others that I’m actually a “God-fearing dude”. Every time I tried looking in the mirror, I asked myself what changes I can make during the time I am going to be here. Would God always be there for me when I need him?

I can’t deny the fact that I am thinking whether God is still out there watching over me? And I certainly won't feel shameful over such thought that I’m scared to know that the God I’ve trusted doesn’t even exist. This enigma, I must throw it aside and really set my faith right. Abraham believed in God, though he did not really receive the promise while he was still alive. But what happens after he died was he has got descendants that are as many as the stars in the sky and the sand in the beach. I want to be just like Abraham. I wish that things would be more lucid to me. I don’t want to be just a superficial guy and a hypocrite. I don’t want to do things on my own strength as it will wear me out.

I hope for more faith in You…

Alright, time to brief you guys about the weekends which I've gone through. The happy thing is I went to Penang with my fellow friends in Kuching, except Ben who is an Australian/English. Things were fantastic especially with the amazing food choices that are available. We had a stay in the YMCA thing. Not bad about the service. Trying to stop the temptation of eating more could be one of the obstacle to overcome. Thank God that I'd been determined not to stuff myself with that much of stuff. This whole month is going to be quite tensed up as there are a lot more to do. English lectures, TOEFL, SAT, etc. Basically, there will be more mock exams on the different things we have never learned before in secondary school before. It would be something interesting to venture in.

Let's talk about my housemates and roommate. They are really special people. I did not get any of the study type housemates who would lock themselves up in the room and try to finish the thick book. Some are really talented, as in the music field. One of them sing really well, the other plays the guitar and piano really well and one more plays the drum. I felt quite left out but still I can sing. One is just good in his studies. Hopefully the challenges that are about to come wouldn't bring most of us down. Will continue to do my best as the lecturers have been urging us to study really hard for the first semester. Not to say that we can relax on the 2nd semester, but still we have to put in more effort that we did before.

Oh yeah, after coming back from Penang, I had this fever for like 3 days already!!!! Felt so lifeless in class, but am still able to pick up what the teachers say. There are more to be anticipated and challenges to face. I believe once we put our faith in God, He would guide us through every road or path we take. Till then my friends... miss you guys and the food in Kuching!!

Finally I've reached Subang on the 5th. Pretty much settled in much still, not as good as before. Well, first of all, let's talk about the hostel they provided. It's newly built... But, the thing is, there is no microwave oven provided, the fridge is spoilt, no washing machine and small rooms that are available. Plus, the distance from the hostel to the campus is like 30-40 minutes walking distance. Taking a cab would cost around RM7-8 for one way. It's far not only from the campus but also from the KTM station and bus station. The only option we have is to take a bus or either a cab right outside the hostel. And, the bus comes at around 6.15am!! Which is extremely early and mostly packed with students from Taylor's as well. Not to mention the bus back is also the same! They offer 2 rounds of bus normally. They can squeeze the whole bus with multitudes of people. No kidding here, seriously... whole bus has no more space left. Until the extent that you have to stand on your feet which makes you tired especially during raining day when the traffic is seriously congested.

Let's hope that things will change for the better when school officially starts. Oh by the way, we're still having our induction program until the 5th August. Our orientation would be on the 6th while the class starts on the 10th. Forgot to mention that there is no TV!!! NO TV and no Wi-Fi!! Oh man... but they will only install it on the 15th which will be shared by so many units in the apartment. Let's pray for the connection that it will be fast. Am adapting well... hopefully can do better in studies. As for either Ivy Leagues or Competitive Universities application... I think i will only target for those which I'm capable of. Don't want to stress myself out that much. And will be going to Penang with Angela, Ben, Isaacn and Audrey or Amanda on this Saturday 3.00am. That's all. Bye